Sex-Positive Therapy for Kink and Polyamory
In a world that continues to promote monogamous relationships and so-called “conventional” sexual practices there can be a lot of shame associated with being UN-conventional. Sex-positive therapy celebrates sexual diversity, differing desires, relationships structures, and individual choices based on consent between partners.
I am a sex-positive therapist who embraces the idea that consensual sexual activities are fundamentally healthy and pleasurable. I emphasize personal responsibility between consenting adults, safer sex practices and respect for individual limits and preferences. I am ready to support you in exploring your sexuality and discovering what works for you. I am completely comfortable talking about what’s working and not working in the most intimate parts of your life. Everyone deserves to live a full and dynamic life and, for many of us, that involves aspects of sexuality or relationship styles outside the status quo.
What Does it mean to have a kink aware and Poly Affirming therapist?
Therapy in which you discuss topics as intimate as sex can be pretty intimidating. Whether it’s exploring your desires and needs, working through feelings of shame or guilt, communicating your sexual fantasies to your partner, setting boundaries within your polyamorous relationship, working with the right therapist is a great place to begin.
Clients who identify as “kinky” and/or as part of the BDSM community (engaging in bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, sado-masochism or other forms of power exchange), and clients with fetishes or other forms of sexual expression or interests, often share very real concerns about how these interests may be received in therapy. As a kink and poly friendly therapist, you do not have to teach me about terms, practices, or relationship structures. Your lifestyle will be accepted and respected. You are free to discuss this part of your life without fear of judgment. More importantly, I will not assume that your sexual interests or relationship structure are the issue bringing you to counseling, unless that is something you specifically want to work on. I will embrace your sexual expression as a part of your identity.
In my work with the kink and poly communities, I help clients find the language to describe their needs in a relationship. I work hard to create a space where you alone, or with your partner(s), can discuss sexual desires and relationship structure while making sure everyone feels heard, supported, and safe to begin exploring. When challenges appear in an open or poly relationship, traditional couples counseling may not work so well. I work with non-monogamous clients and have experience helping clients navigate multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships, and in strengthening the relationships structures you choose. Even when relationship difficulties are not the focus of therapy, polyamorous and non-monogamous clients need a therapist who can understand their lifestyle and not make it a focus when it shouldn’t be.
Counseling For Your Poly Relationship
I work with triads, quads or other polycules and family units just as I would work with couples. All parties must be willing to participate, and I maintain a “no-secrets” policy when I work with relationship groups of any number. With more people involved, it sometimes makes sense to schedule 75 or 90-minute sessions to allow everyone a chance to be heard.
Celebrating Relationship Diversity
Increasingly more couples are looking for alternative ways to explore their sexuality. Wondering what else is out there? In the image below, you can learn about a variety of different types of non-monogamy. Some of the types include swinging, casual sex, polyamory, BDSM play and Dominant/Submissive non-monogamy, open relationships and relationship anarchy. Perhaps there’s an option for you to consider in your relationship.
